10 Things Teens Wish Parents Knew About Weight Loss from WEIGHT LOSS CONFIDENTIAL, by Anne M. Fletcher, MS, RD

1. “Don’t tell me my weight is okay.” If your teen is overweight and says he wants to slim down, listen to his concerns and offer to help find some solutions. Don’t minimize the problem.
2. ”Get off my back.” Don’t nag, preach, criticize, or try to coerce your teen into losing; talk to her like a friend, not a disciplinarian.
3. “Let ME be in charge.” It’s up to the teen to decide if, how, and when she wants to lose.
4. “Don’t be a food cop.” Comments like “You’ve had enough” and “You don’t need that bowl of ice cream” will backfire.
5. “Be there when I’m ready.” Support your teen’s choices and praise his efforts: help find affordable ways to exercise or a program he’d like to attend. Be a role model for healthy eating and exercise.
6. “Help me out, don’t single me out.” Create a healthy home food climate – for the entire family, not just the overweight teen. Provide kids with healthy, appealing food choices without making them feel deprived.
7. “Love me no matter what.” Let your teen know she’s loved whatever her weight is and whether or not she succeeds at slimming down.
8. “Be patient.” Understand that losing weight takes time, effort, patience, and often multiple attempts.
9. “Help me be realistic.” After losing weight, your teen may not be “thin,” but she’ll be healthier and happier.
10. “Believe in me.” Send the message that you know your teen can succeed and that you’ll be there if he needs you.

In Their Own Words

“If a teen is really concerned with losing weight and has good reason to believe he’s overweight, don’t tell him he’s just fine the way he is.” – Taylor S.

“Parents need to understand that teens can’t lose weight alone–they need support and encouragement.” – McKenzie K.

“Teenagers need to be talked to like a friend. The last person they want to listen to is a disciplinarian parent laying down the law about ‘this is why you need to lose weight.’” – John A.

“Don’t make overweight teens feel singled out at the dinner table, like by having meals that are different from everyone else’s. Use your child as an opportunity for the whole family to eat better.” – Aaron T.

“Be supportive of their choices. If they mess up, don’t get angry. Make sure to talk to them about what they’re going through because it’s hard and parents are easier to talk to about weight than friends are most of the time.” – Emily B.

“I never would have started exercising if my mom hadn’t been working out for my entire life. She makes time every day to exercise, and she’s a very busy woman, so I knew I could fit it into my schedule too.” – Kristy C.

“Parents need to understand that having tons of junk food around is practically sabotage.” – Mary N.

“If tempting foods are around, you feel like your family’s not supporting your ambitions. When you’re home, you want to relax and not have to worry about being tempted.” – Felicia S.

“Don’t plan a teen’s diet for him/her. If he wants to try the grapefruit diet and the parent spends all day researching the South Beach diet and persuades the teen to try that, chances are the kid won’t stick with it. Let your child learn what works and what doesn’t on his own.” – Kyle B.

“Many different things make a person worthwhile. If you’re not an ideal-sized body, it doesn’t mean you’re not an ideal person.” – Sandra D.